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What You'll NOT Find on All-N-Won

August 29, 20224 min read

Let's admit it: 95% of affiliate blogs promoting apps & courses SUCK! Yeah, I get it, they make a lot of money, but if you’re in any way familiar with what they do, you already know they’re making money at your expense. 

You do Google searches for “GrooveFunnels review,” “ClickDesigns review” or “The Digital Marketing Revolution review” because you want people’s experiences with those things, not to read a copy-paste (or paraphrase) of the same marketing jargon over & over again.  

Remember those school lessons of yore where we were told not to plagiarize. (No! No! Don’t tell that to Pablo Picasso or Led Zeppelin!) We all like a little variety, right? We want fresh perspectives, different use cases, people at different points in their career, dissenting opinions, snarky comments – oh yeah, especially that last one. Where I find faults, I see opportunities. 

I get that folks need lazy money. Plenty of legit ways to print it. What Lamborghurus don’t tell them is this: By putting those blogs out on the Internet and allowing search engines to index them, we are automatically bound to the intellectual contracts of the Internet. We accept responsibility that we are performing a public service. And often, we do so without reading that proverbial fine print.  

Namely, that if you have not ticked the “Noindex” checkbox, that eight-legged freak Googlebot is going to crawl its itsy-bitsy way through your website and promote it to unsuspecting customers – like you. That is a guarantee of being on the Internet, and if you are not catering to that audience’s psychotic f***ing hatreds, that’s a No-Nose No-No, page 1.

"No-Nose No-No, Page One" - Baby Driver

We're sick & tired. And I bet you are too. So without further adieu, here's ‘their’ dirty little secrets to "wantrepreneurship" that you WILL NOT see on All-N-Won: 

  1. No promos for Wealthy Affiliate. Vested interest. Gaslighting. Schadenfreude. Their members' content is equivalent to radical politicians' campaign speeches -- I know, because people have shared their secret sauce. This blog is an Affiliate Politics-free zone.

  2. No "My #1 Recommended Course." See #1.

  3. No bashing courses/apps we've not used just to sell another course/app. Which we've not used either. Practice what ye preach, folks.

  4. No popups. And especially not the giant ones that slowly, but scarily, darken the entire page and creep up on your entire screen while you're calmly scanning the opening paragraph. They ARE the three-eyed monsters you thought hid under your bed all along. Oh, and by the way -- nowhere to exit, baby!

  5. No vendor sales copy disguised as a review. There’s a time & place for Jar—uh, I mean Jasper. (Thanks, Disney lawyers.) 

  6. No list of features & benefits followed by a vague recommendation. Good luck getting my money with the same thing I've seen at least 5 or 6 times.

  7. No "scam" headlines for products we've not used. That's the kind of filth and scum that makes you hate money, and creates ugly, unneeded lawsuits. Sure, there are legit scams, and I'll save those for another blog. But you always go to the next search result seeking the opposite, and we don't want your search to be neverending...

  8. Not disclosing the "WHY" of our affiliate relationships. Commissions from affiliate product sales have a LEGITIMATE purpose: They fund the cost of hosting and updating this blog, so it stays free to you forever, and ad-free for the foreseeable future. Affiliate commissions also fund hobbies that, on their own, are not profitable investments. They're like the water of life.

  9. NO blindly Coffeezilla-ing anyone. Seriously, snorting too much of that crack will make you forget what coffee is and what shirts are. Dear reader, we need you on the ground, not shirtless and floating above a field of daisies. Yeah, yeah, I get it, renewed skepticism of the ones who are true fakes—but it's triggered by the same tipping point that triggered a year-long pandemic of actual, financially-motivated disinformation.

And that's it—your playbook for everything not to do as an affiliate blogger. Rest assured we've shoved all these horrible, needling, dull pains off to the side and dumped them in the trash bin, left to rot in a landfill.

Reality is, if you're here, it's because you're at the next-to-last step in your journey, where you just need that tiny 2-inch missing puzzle piece to determine if, let's say, ClickDesigns will make you or your design team get excited about the odor of next morning's coffee -- or not.

So, dear reader, read on, and enjoy actual original opinions & snide remarks, but most of all, real use cases for the courses and apps you seek knowledge of.

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